Chilean FrankenSalmon's Friends and Foes

After the New York Times took a juicy Chilean FrankenSalmon by the tail and slapped it against the industry leaders, gringo supermarket chain Safeway stopped stocking the Chilean freakfish (reason given: it's not the Times article, just that your salmon sucks), and Chilean Minister of Economy Hugo Lavados is trying to downplay the economic and image problems brought on by the racist, lying Times.

But the article's impact is real, and FrankenSalmon PR didn't miss a beat:

MIAMI, March 31 /PRNewswire/ -- The Chilean Salmon Industry Association deeply regrets the numerous errors of the article, offering a biased view of our industry and product, which is consumed daily by over 6 million consumers worldwide.

The Chilean ambassador to Washington Mariano Fernández followed in lockstep by sending the Times editor a letter:

The salmon and trout industry in Chile accounts for more than 50,000 jobs, $2.2 billion in exports in 2007, and 45 percent of the total imports of salmon and trout to the United States. I agree with American officials and Chilean executives when they reject the notion that Chilean salmon industry practices are unsafe and reaffirm that the virus called infectious salmon anemia is not harmful to humans.

Up to now the letter's fine but moving on it could be better, obviously English is the author's second tongue. The awkward syntax and poor vocabulary choices might be standard fare for this sort of thing, I really don't know, but look at it like this: the issue at stake could make a major dent in your economy and the Times is huge and you're the Ambassador, for Christ's sake, would it kill you to raise the bar?

Up to me I'd have given it another once-over by a qualified native English-speaker. Look:

To give further assurances to American consumers, it is important to remember...

The fact remains that Chile shows a remarkable record in prevention and management of food safety in this field.

"Shows"? Why not just "has"? Sir, your nephew boasts an advanced level of English composition, he can keep his job, all I'm saying is that a little editing goes a long way.

But La Nacion sniffs a scandal (read the English version here), noting that the Times snipped a few of the more tedious paragraphs. So should I be upset the Times has compassion for its readers?

Of course the scandal element does seem faintly secondary to La Nacion's blaring headline: THE NEW YORK TIMES PUBLISHES A LETTER BY AMBASSADOR FERNANDEZ. But you gotta fill up the rest of the fish wrap somehow.

Anyway, the former President of the American Chamber of Commerce Michael Grasty pretty much nailed it in an interview he gave to the Santiago Times:

Grasty says Chile’s salmon producers “are going about it all wrong.” Rather than blame others for their difficulties, salmon farmers ought to address the problems and get in tune with the times, environmentally speaking. “The salmon industry isn’t green enough.”

Read the interview. By outlining the straightforward steps to un-FrankenSalmon Chile's FrankenSalmon, he leaves little wiggle room for those who prefer not to take action but rather whine about the wild fibbing Times single handedly destroying pobre Chile.

Instead of publishing indignant PR's and sending in second rate letters, why not make real news by changing your ways?