Chile Teleton: What You Missed by Reading Santiago Times

Tomás just blew up the Teletón whore hilarity that I'd been telling cab drivers about dayz ago but Tomás does it quite well. So did Wapo, Reuters and Santiago Times...wait, except ST didn't even mention the ST...D-free (condoms always present, US$300, take your time) temptress in their elegiac to the event. Nor did they care to mention the dark side of Don Francisco that was represented in a friend's chilling play about the Sabado Gigante. What's even worse is that the ST did reference the Chilean prostitute Maria Carolina's 27-hour labor of love for Teletón, but totally separately, "in briefs".

My only point is: where's the coherency?

If you're Chile's only English language newspaper and you're doing an article about how much money the Teletón raised and include in the article all these peripheral vignettes about this year's Teletón and you already wrote about the funniest one, then why don't you include that in your round-up? Santiago Times, you're no stranger to self-referentialism, but I'd place your knowledge of hyperlinks circa 1987.

If you count most peoples' experience working for Santiago Times, it is hardly more than an overstaffed, amateur blog. Management could at least play the part by encouraging a culture of hyperlinking, and link up their own articles, and catch up with the rest of us by about two decades. I criticize the Santiago Times because heart them, they are an indispensable source of English language news about Chile. They could be so. Much. Better.

In just a few minutes, for example, Tomás slaps together a Chile news roundup that blows anything ST does out of the water. Granted, he's a Columbia kid. But imagine if he did that once a week we'd see a massive migration of readership from ST to his blog, if only because of the change in font size.

Unfortunately, in the case of Teletón, moving from ST to Tomás' blog can be equated to switching seats on the Titanic. The real story, the one that got absolutely no coverage in the media, could quite possibly be the one that matters most: Teletón is a conspiracy to channel funds into a tank-building mission whose ultimate objective is the extermination of the Peruvians.

That is according to our fearless correspondents at Chilean blog Por la Puta (thanks Comrade AJ for the tip), who broke the Teletón tank story when nobody else was brave enough. Watch as these two fearless journalists make a mad, Reverean dash through Santiago warning their fellow citizens of the imminent dangers of the money being poured into "making children smile", as the sinister Don Francisco would have us believe. Watch as these noble revolutionaries are scorned by their countrymen. Watch, how little know the unbelieving that nigh upon us is the day...you heard about it first, here. Watch: