Mi Smog, Tu Smog

The Santiago Metro (underground, tube, subway, subté) is an impressively sleek propaganda machine, those guys know how to convincingly push policy through models and slogans. For a while they were working on the "let people off the train before you push your way on" campaign. Lately, they've been taking a bite out of the crossing over the yellow line issue. In one Metro station a two-story high wall was covered in an ad warning people to stay behind the yellow line, which is nice of them, because they've probably already dished out more than they'd have to pay for 100 Chilean wrongful death lawsuits.

Metro is cool, and it can laugh at itself. One season it made a slew of puns about the fact that its name is also a unit of measurement, and when Transantiago sent the city underground, Metro warned us in advance we'd all have to learn how to share our square meter (metro cuadrado) of space. And no matter what pinnacles of creativeness ascended, or limbs went out upon, Metro always strikes a resounding chorus note, itself a spin-off from the ultimate declaration of Hispanic Hospitality:

Mi Metro, Tu Metro.

Irresistible. Of course, the brutish masses continue to assault train cars without letting passengers off first, but at least they know what they're doing is wrong. And I've begun to notice that now, unlike before, even in the vastest sea of oncoming human traffic, a Way is made (albeit thinly) for escape.

Not surprising that a combination of will, money and talent yields measurable results. If they were estimating a certain 20% effectiveness, they got it and it was worth every penny.

An added benefit is that it validates my vigilantism. When I charge out of the train in a blind beeline and feel the strange sensation of jawbones knocking and clicking against my shoulder and howls of indignation arise from the crowd, I turn around confidently, my hooded figure silhouetted by a two-story backlit sign that warns people to let people off before getting on, I raise my arm like Death and boom prophetically:

Mi Metro, Tu Metro!

With a foreign language, I don't always find the right words. But the point is, Metro's got my back here and everyone knows the rules.

Come smog, however, and Santiago is like a population of blinded deer stumbling about after the Bomb. Santiago hit pre-emergency levels again yesterday, and a photo in El Mercurio shows a thick bar of brown black smoke blocking out the view, not only of the Andes right next to the city, but of Cerro San Cristobal right in the center of town. Only its peak is visible.

Yet while most people are happy to complain about it, there seems to be a complete lack of consciousness that personal choices one makes can contribute to, or diminish, the level of carbon monoxide, sulfur dioxide and particulate matter in the air.

My vigilantism is absurd.

When politely asking a driver in a parked, yet idling clunker, to please turn his engine off because Mi Smog, Tu Smog, he ignores me until he breaks down into repulsed anger at this ludicrous and incomprehensible foreigner.

"Aaay, ya!," he whines, flicking back his hand and wagging his head, not really moving from his seat but giving the impression of impending violence. Slightly frightened, I stay, waiting for him to turn off his engine. And I'm late, slightly frightened, and I move on.

Not one peso that I know of has been spent on public awareness campaigns about how ordinary citizens can reduce emissions. Political leaders like Lagos, who is absurdly decorated with a UN Environmental position after an atrocious environmental presidency, go on record blaming Argentina.

A week ago, as smog edged up to pre-emergency levels and the air was particularly gray and thick, I noticed billows of smoke coming out of a residential patio. Burning wood in the fireplace is illegal in Santiago, because that contributes over 10% of the smog in Santiago. I flagged down a neighborhood security guard who happened to be driving by and pointed it out to him. Impatiently he told me, that's a BBQ, a BBQ. Do you know what a BBQ is?

Certainly nothing that causes smog.

That's just dumb. But even the effects of stupidity can be curbed by public awareness and laws that work.

Cars and trucks, which contribute at least 50% of Santiago's smog, are theoretically controlled by smog checks and big fines for drivers who hit the rodes without proper emissions controls. But El Mercurio reports that for the 70,000 trucks on the road, only 350 inspectors are assigned to regulating them. That's 214 trucks a day per inspector. That's totally ridiculous. And the law for cars is fucked up too: even if emission control was enforced, it's open season after 10PM: no catalytic converter, no problem.

And for all the government's complaining about the poor people burning wood, there are only 7 house-to-house inspectors assigned good days, 11 on alert days, and 20 on pre-emergency days. A couple weeks ago, when Santiago smog hit pre-emergency levels, only ONE house was cited for burning wood. In some slums there are about 50,000 wood burning stoves. And 15% of polluting factories were checked out.

Health functionary Mauricio Osorio points out that a lot of people simply didn't let the inspectors in. That's a classic Chilean way of not dealing with problems, and it totally works because people never follow up.

So Osorio shouldn't be surprised. If he were ignorant, poor, and the person knocking on his door didn't have a gun, he probably wouldn't let them in either. Santiago needs to get serious about smog, but I don't think it ever will. There's no public awareness, and there's no consequences.

Osorio is quoted as saying: "If you raise the number of inspectors, we're gonna have more fines and it'd probably be better, but it also has to do with personal responsibility, with each person being responsible for his own."

Couldn't agree with you more, dude. You and the hundreds of officials supposedly in charge of this failed city who are great at spouting out these gems of wisdom when your real job is to get shit done. But you won't, you're totally ineffectual, inept, probably corrupt and overall pathetic.

Meanwhile El Mercurio also reports that respiratory illness has jumped up 30%. Since the 20th of May a daily average of 1,000 people have gone to the doctor with respiratory illness, with 100 hospitalizations, mostly children.

Being a health minister, you can't be neutral about this shit. Inactivity is directly damaging the lungs of children, increasing cancer and death rates. I don't believe smog will ever be reduced in Santiago, because people are inept and unwilling.

But I do see how it could be improved: increase and enforce emissions laws. Hire more inspectors and assign cops to house-to-house missions, forcibly arrest people who don't let you in. Also, subsidize cleaner heating for poorer homes. Impound cars without catalytic converters, increase taxes on car purchases. Regulate 100% of polluting factories, including those that burn tires all night long. Call pre-emergency levels every single time they happen.

Start a public awareness campaign against smog. Chile's state coffers are overflowing due to copper revenue, and Chile can dump billions into roads and a failed Transantiago. Money is not an excuse.

And one more thing, Santiago: set better standards! Cincinnati just issued government alerts because smog bumped up to PM-90. In Santiago, that's classified as "Good". And Transantiago promised (and didn't succeed) to end the gov't declaration of pre-emergency levels.

But that's not a goal! The goal should be PM-30 maximum. In Santiago, these filthy hacks are satisfied at PM-300. Just as long as we don't have to call pre-emergency, we're happy.

Also, start measuring Carbon Monoxide levels. A University of Chile study says you're missing half of the real pre-emergency levels because you're not measuring carbon monoxide. That's scary.