Pregnant Chick Knocks Down Cop in Spammy Santiago

Paseo Ahumada is like my least favorite place in Santiago. Nah, the world. It leads into the Plaza de Armas, not ranking high on my list either. It's all just so spammy and crowded and there are so many failed attempts at entertainment. Barney, mimes, the choking smell of burnt candied peanuts mixing with the smog and cheesy music that people horde around in bad taste lit by orange sodium lights.

It's like the Promenade in Santa Monica with its fitful consumerism, but all of that beat down into the ugliness of poverty and cheap, uninspired clothing that rips really easily above the cleavage when the cops (slap! Sorry sir) "police" yank at it.

Street vendors don't get me especially excited, but they're not the worst part of downtown. I'd say it's the other people walking too slow, I can't walk around them or they're always bumping into me, many looking for a chance to rob.

Street vendors take up space, but the pedestrian via is really wide and the street vendors are usually tucked in between phone booths and planterbox trees. I'd say it's people's inability to walk, and their slowness, that's the problem. Nevertheless, it looks like the mayor is cracking down on street vendors in Santiago. Not sure the real reason, or if people are required to give reasons. I think there's a law against street vendors, and it looks like mayor's told the police to prioritize it. Cuz god knows they gotta prioritize something.

The mayor of Santiago has gotta be a real champ to crack down on street vendors. I mean, let's just make the wild assumption that he's been convinced to do so by businesses lining Paseo Ahumada, who don't want competition. I'm making that up, but in my defense I just stumbled into this issue today. But supposing it's true that he is on the side of store-front merchants. If so, Santiago's mayor, well...

Here's the mayor's problem: if he were in the Promenade, or any other shee-shee froo-froo mall district in the United States, he'd have a better case for cracking down. Those shops are actually decent, and it makes sense -- at least from the consumers' point of view -- to clear out the riff-raff and make way for brand names offering cleanliness and money back guarantees. Restaurants that get visited by the health inspector. Salesmen that greet you personally, rather than strutting about like greasy matadors, yelling their heads off into a microphone.

On Paseo Ahumada, forget about it. Everything's overpriced for the quality those shops offer, and the experience sucks. Which is why you have to be a Strong Leader like Santiago's mayor to crack down hard on street vendors, firmly believing in the Cause while so much trickery-posing-as-reality gets in the way. The fact that street vendors offer better prices and give consumers more selection, for instance. Or at the very least, that Chile's economy is in the dumps so you might as well let these poor fucks scrap for what they can.

But Chile's public policy seems strangely pro-business, anti-consumer (not to mention anti-poor). A strange blend, but there is logic. I had an interesting conversation waiting in line to pay my Telefónica bill. (Btw, Telefónica is a telecommunications monopoly. It doesn't compete with the other telco monopoly VTR, because each are designated to different zones throughout Santiago. People living where I live choose Telefónica or, well, Telefónica. And I was in line because I can't pay online with a regular credit card).

Anyway, the guy ahead of me said that he's getting charged extra for caller ID. Add a million extra petty little charges, and you've got the essence of Telefónica's philosophy. It's the Spanish model, he explained: don't seek 100% market penetration, but milk the hell out of your existing customers, even if they're only half of your potential customers.

And when it comes to competition, beat it with a stick. Even if it's 6-months pregnant.

In the video I will publish below, the woman shows me her pregnant belly and explains that there's nothing she can do about the police brutality. She also tells me she's got Sumo, a really great Argentinean group I've wanted to hear more of lately. And okay, some of you readers might have copyright concerns. But it's not just CD's; street vendors sell everything cheaper, from dish-drying towels to T-shirts to produce. It's better for the consumer. I'd rather buy a Sumo CD from her than pay $35 USD in a Santiago music shop. So I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully before the cops beat her again and carry away her CD's.